I just read your article “Hey Nice Guys” and want to thank you for writing that. I am one of those “nice guys’ and although I do get girlfriends, they are not always the one I really want and sometimes I leave them, and sometimes they leave me. I have believed that women like the “bad boy” because I have seen it so many times in my life. They go after this guy who is obviously a jerk but they just seem to be in love with him any way. I could never understand that. I started dating a beautiful woman at work once and she seemed to be really interested in me but I noticed she started loosing interest after a couple of weeks so I asked a woman she was friends with for advice. She told me to start treating her bad. She said don’t call so much, don’t pay so much attention and just act like to really don’t care if you are with her or not. Being a nice guy, that was hard for me to do, but I did it because I felt like I was loosing her anyway and I couldn’t believe how well it worked. In about two weeks, she had completely turned around and was now chasing me!
I realize now that it isn’t about treating a woman bad, but just giving her some space and not being so eager. If guys take what you wrote to heart, it will help a lot of them to develop good relationships with the women they want to be with. And they don’t have to become a “bad boy.”
My girlfriend felt this piece might be of use as a possible explanation of the “why” as she really identifies with what you write and useful to those on the same road …
I heard something on the news today… about how in no country in the world can say they have reached full equality for woman.
We know individual woman are successful and powerful in their own right but as a class of humanity woman are not the holders of power.
Any woman on the conscious path is by default learning how to handle power for herself and on behalf of woman.
In the book “being in dreaming” Florinda takes us into a world where the situation is turned on it’s head.
In her journey she is brought into a world where woman have achieved their power and resulting freedom.
It is natural in the learning process that men are who she is first to meet in her challenge.
💣The point is that any woman will unconsciously test the men around her…her jailers / her superiors / the holders of power.
Unfortunately individual men will not meet that challenge. Men as a category hold power but but not as individuals. The result is disappointment and anger because woman are struggling against a phantom something that doesn’t exist.
Both men and woman don’t know this is going on… all the time.
This is the base of the power struggle.
Men are confused by the constant challenge that woman present to them. They don’t understand why they are being tested just like children test their parents all the time …. to find the safe boundaries. Where power is contained.
Hey Lealyn,
I just read your article “Hey Nice Guys” and want to thank you for writing that. I am one of those “nice guys’ and although I do get girlfriends, they are not always the one I really want and sometimes I leave them, and sometimes they leave me. I have believed that women like the “bad boy” because I have seen it so many times in my life. They go after this guy who is obviously a jerk but they just seem to be in love with him any way. I could never understand that. I started dating a beautiful woman at work once and she seemed to be really interested in me but I noticed she started loosing interest after a couple of weeks so I asked a woman she was friends with for advice. She told me to start treating her bad. She said don’t call so much, don’t pay so much attention and just act like to really don’t care if you are with her or not. Being a nice guy, that was hard for me to do, but I did it because I felt like I was loosing her anyway and I couldn’t believe how well it worked. In about two weeks, she had completely turned around and was now chasing me!
I realize now that it isn’t about treating a woman bad, but just giving her some space and not being so eager. If guys take what you wrote to heart, it will help a lot of them to develop good relationships with the women they want to be with. And they don’t have to become a “bad boy.”
Thanks again
Gardy
Thanks Gardy! Your experience is a common one. Stay busy and involved in other things so you don’t come off as needy. Looks like it’s working for you!
My girlfriend felt this piece might be of use as a possible explanation of the “why” as she really identifies with what you write and useful to those on the same road …
I heard something on the news today… about how in no country in the world can say they have reached full equality for woman.
We know individual woman are successful and powerful in their own right but as a class of humanity woman are not the holders of power.
Any woman on the conscious path is by default learning how to handle power for herself and on behalf of woman.
In the book “being in dreaming” Florinda takes us into a world where the situation is turned on it’s head.
In her journey she is brought into a world where woman have achieved their power and resulting freedom.
It is natural in the learning process that men are who she is first to meet in her challenge.
💣The point is that any woman will unconsciously test the men around her…her jailers / her superiors / the holders of power.
Unfortunately individual men will not meet that challenge. Men as a category hold power but but not as individuals. The result is disappointment and anger because woman are struggling against a phantom something that doesn’t exist.
Both men and woman don’t know this is going on… all the time.
This is the base of the power struggle.
Men are confused by the constant challenge that woman present to them. They don’t understand why they are being tested just like children test their parents all the time …. to find the safe boundaries. Where power is contained.
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